Q: I’ve heard that New York publishers will only accept books written from a third-person limited POV and no head hopping allowed.
Does this mean I have to rewrite my manuscript to conform to these rules?
A: No! Stop. Don’t succumb to this kind of advice.
These rumors can start as the result of an editor or agent writing a rejection letter saying a particular book might be better if the author changed the POV (point of view.)
The news starts traveling and takes on steam. But that’s only one editor’s opinion and it could be wrong.
The great POV debate
The truth is that there are no such monolithic rules.
As an acquiring editor, however, I’ve seen many fiction, memoir and narrative non-fiction proposals and manuscripts that suffer from problems with point of view. Writers often struggle with how to tell the story and with choosing the best narrative voice to do the job.
That’s why writers groups, classes, workshops and author blogs debate heatedly the rumors and alleged rules about the “right” POV.
Before going any further, I want to define my use of these terms to avoid some of the confusion I see online. So for the purpose of this post, here are my simplified versions of four typical points of view:
Four Typical Points of View
1. Omniscient
The story is told through an observer with the author’s narrative voice. This narrator knows how the story unfolds, though ideally does not reveal all at once.
2. First-person
The story is told from the point of view of the “I” narrator, who only knows what she or he sees and experiences, so all feelings, questions, and internal thoughts are in the narrative voice of a unique individual.
3. Third-person limited
The entire story is told through the perspective of one character, using for example, the pronouns he or she.
4. Third-person unlimited
The story is told through the perspectives of two or more characters, with shifting points of view.
Most writers choose to write in one POV at a time, but since writing is an art and not a technical science, some highly skilled, experienced literary artists may mix and mingle more than one of the above. For this discussion I’ve omitted the rarely used second-person point of view.
My only rule: Does the manuscript work?
As an acquiring developmental editor with more than 40 years in commercial publishing, including Simon and Schuster, Bantam, and John Wiley & Sons, I don’t subscribe to any rules or generalities about the right or wrong point of view to tell a story.
My approach is strictly empirical. I need to produce books that make a profit. So when I work with a writer, I ask myself: “Is this manuscript working? Will the reader engage and keep turning those pages?”
As the editor, my job is to help the writer develop the book with the POV that works best. Each story requires a custom point of view. When working with a writer I encourage an open-minded approach.
How an editor works with a writer
Here are some recent examples of how I’ve collaborated with authors to revise narratives with point-of-view problems. In each case, reworking the POV produced more publishable manuscripts.
Refocusing the POV
The first draft of this mystery novel was written in third-person unlimited with seven different narrative voices. Inserting my tracked changes one page at a time, I asked the author to clarify who was talking, through whose eyes we readers were figuring out the crime.
I noted that the point of view was rapidly shifting away from the forensic psychologist whom the author told me was the going to be the heroine of a series of mysteries. First the POV switched to a serial killer, then to a string of other characters: a police detective, the most recent victim, a newspaper reporter and others. As a reader, I became confused and frustrated. I couldn’t tell where I was or what was going on.
After around two hundred pages of this kind of head hopping, I requested that the author eliminate the multiple points of view entirely, and refocus on one first-person “I” narrator. This allowed the reader to discover all the mysterious twists of underlying story from our heroine’s point of view, avoiding any premature revelations or digressive information dumps.
This new focus also helped build more empathy and identification with the protagonist, whom we needed to identify with and admire enough to read about for not just this but other stories in the future.
I call this the Cutting the Gordian Knot school of developmental editing: one sweeping change that unravels the confusion.
Excising a distracting omniscient voice
The author had been working for months on an intense coming-of-age memoir, but hadn’t figured out how to explain what was really behind the apparently insensitive and abusive neglect she experienced as a child yearning for a dead mother and absent father.
The draft she sent me tried to insert an omniscient narrative voice every few pages to explain why her heartbroken father was in denial and avoidance. I suggested she delete that omniscient POV entirely and instead stick with a single “I” narrator perspective.
This permitted the reader to understand how she grew up gradually and discovered the truth about her family’s whole story, meeting elders, cousins, friends and mentors who eventually filled in the details of her earlier life in a manner that helped her to develop as a whole, mature, independent and self-reliant young woman who had a family and children of her own.
Creating a narrative voice to fit the story
Reversing direction, I worked with an author to develop a historical biography that was originally told from the POV of an 8-year-old boy.
The problem was that the writer had a literary style of a 40-year-old man. Mark Twain could get away with this in Huckleberry Finn, but it’s a difficult task for most of us mortals (and critics have pointed out how Twain’s adult voice was evident throughout that classic.)
So we revised the book with a new omniscient narrator to tell the whole story of moving west in a broad social and political context.
POV Tips and Tricks
1. Know your characters
Who is the protagonist and where is he or she coming from? Is this someone you want to portray as naïve who learns the hard way, or more remote, above it all, controlling the action? Would it be more effective to write from within or observe from the outside?
2. Don’t give away the farm
Whether you choose first person or omniscient, be sure to sustain a sense of gradually unfolding discovery. One of the great pleasures of reading is delving into a parallel universe that accompanies us as we go about our day, just waiting for us to jump back in.
We want to the story to unfold step by step. We want to discover what’s going on for ourselves, through the characters and narration, and not be told or flooded with information, or tricked into believing something that turns out not to be true.
3. Break some rules
Slick genre plots sometimes include a last reversal which turns everything on its head. It may turn out the first person narrator has been lying to us all along, or the omniscient narrator was clueless to the reality of the story until the last minute.
A big surprise on page 123 can wake up your reader and re-engage flagging interest. But take this kind of flyer at your peril, after you’ve become a more confident and accomplished writer and have the skill to pull it off.
Enough said for now. We welcome comments, questions, and sage advice.
You’re missing an example of deep pov ( close third.) :(
Classic (Hugo or Fielding style) omniscient is my one true way to go.
No workshopaholic, no publisher, no self-proclaimed King of contemporary genre fiction will ever be able to deter me from my path.
Bryce,
It’s possible to switch from a “I” narrative voice to another “I” narrator when moving from one chapter to the next, so long as you indicate in some quick and subtle manner whose POV we’re reading.
It’s not a good idea, however, to switch within a scene in the way you’ve written your query. Switching POVs within a single scene creates unnecessary confusion and risks losing the reader’s focus and interest.
Hello,
I appreciate your website above. If time for advice it’s appreciated.
I’m writing an ebook series which I have not published quite yet. But the first short ebook will be out in Dec. I will publish each short story separate, but at some point, consolidate them for a novel.
I’ve written the first two ebooks 1st POV from only one character’s point of view. I’m editing the third now, and I want to switch between 2 characters in different scenes. I started doing it in third person, as this is the most logical.
But when I consolidate the stories into novel then I will have an inconsistency between my first 2 ebooks as first person and the remaining three will be third POV. I thought, at that point, I will need to change it all to 3rd. But, I thought I would ask first, can you do first person multiple switching from one chapter to next. I don’t want to title sections by person or title chapters by character’s name.
Can a writer, wanting to use first person, start a scene in third person saying person’s name then quickly switch to first. For example, “Ace stepped slowly to the creek.” Then switch to first person, “I stared into the water feeling lost.”
In the next chapter, I would change characters and say, “Amen squinted at the horde of Undead charging. I swallowed, my body stiffening, preparing for the onslaught to come.”
Or are there better examples of how to do this? Or is this even advisable?
I guess I’m going to live at this blog. Again, thank you for such clarity re POV. My antagonist is my memoir, in every sense of the word, but I am madly in love with its challenge, and the story it seems to be telling to me. Zounds! Should it not be the other way ’round? I’m writing in First Person interspersed with Omnicient. Providing the reader with the impact info about a stepfather on the beach at Normandy, left for dead across three days, and massively wounded, cannot be knowledge from the head of an eight year old girl from an orphanage. Switching to omnicient, and far above the scene, at that, is reading like a movie….not sure I want that… Those of us (me) without vast experience at writing appreciate that you unshackle us with that business about breaking the rules.
Since my history is that of an emotionally erased child, I am, for all practical purposes, invisible in my own story. Speaking from invisibility, I have some advantage amongst the disadvantages, and have learned so much about how my handicap determines how I see life but allows me to “see” what otherwise might be hidden both from and about me.
What you have shown me, almost panoramically, is that the editor I’m thinking to work with needs rethinking. BTW, I find submitting snippets of my memoir to contests to be very instructive, with really fine feedback about where I scored and where I bombed….great to have judges’ eyes on this work for a song. True, often there is zero feedback, but when there is, I win even when I lose.
I’m writing historical fiction and it seems necessary to use a shifting focus, at least in the beginning, to convey opposing points of view that bring alive a time in history without channeling them through another character or, worse, saying “this is how society was back then.” It can create tension as the reader waits to see how these different narrative threads fit together and resolve. Unfortunately, I have trouble finding others to trade critiques with who aren’t influenced by this rumor and have read guides to publishing that contain the same thing. It is really becoming prevalent.
I enjoyed your article very much. Thank you.
I’m a relatively new writer, currently writing a novel with sixteen pov’s. The protagonist is written in first person, present tense, and the others are all third person, past tense. I’ve been encouraged to narrow that down a lot, and I probably will but, for now, with the encouragement of another writer, I’m letting the story unfold as it will and enjoying the process.
I started with just the single first person, present pov, but found I was having to resort other characters coming in and telling him what was happening on the outside (he’s confined), so someone recommended I try another pov and they multiplied like rabbits. I’m trying to keep continuity by having more scenes of my main character’s pov sprinkled throughout.
I love the rule, “Does it work?”
And love this site!
Claudine
Thank you for this great post! I wish more people talked about omniscient viewpoint in a positive way instead of saying “No one uses it any more. Don’t use it.”
When I first started my urban fantasy, I struggled with the viewpoint. I normally write in third, but it felt really wrong for the story. About then, a viewpoint workshop popped up, so I took it. Based on comments, I decided to change the book to first person. Once I wrote fifty, I understand exactly why I was having a problem with the viewpoint. First was way, way too personal for the story. My humor, instead of being funny, turned annoying. Third was better, but only slightly, and neither fit the story.
Then omnniscient was next in the workshop, and I was just hitting a pivotal scene. I switched omniscient, and the story sang. Omniscient had what I needed for this story. Though I had heard everywhere–all the how-to books, other writers–that no one uses the viewpoint and you’ll never get published, I had a hard time buying into. I was seeing omniscient in new releases, so it was selling. And I had never seen an agent or editor have on their list of top ten reasons for rejection “Omniscient viewpoint.” I reasoned that the story needed to shine, and the omniscient viewpoint needed to be done well.
Eventually, I posted the first chapter for a critique. I didn’t expect the extremely negative reactions to the omni I got from writers. You’d think they thought I was a vampire and were going for the stakes and garlic. I was sternly admonished for using the viewpoint and told I wouldn’t get published if I used it. I explained my reasons why I had changed to this viewpoint, and the writers dismissed them, saying it could be done in third. I was even told, “I’m sure you know your story, but here’s how it would be done in third.” Everyone seemed to think it was better to have a badly written story in an “acceptable viewpoint” then a well-written story in a “unacceptable viewpoint.” The vitrol was so bad that I had to take six weeks away from the book so I could think about it objectively. I later talked to another writer who got so much vitrol on his use of omniscient that he changed it to third.
If you choose to use omni and it’s right for your story, stick your guns.
I am writing a chapter book for 3rd-4th grade that has a crazy professor time traveling with kids at home helping him remotely. I’d like to do it in OPOV but have been told this is not usually done for this young age (due to needs to get reader to connect to a main character). I don’t know how else I’d have ability to switch between scenes of time travel & home. Any thoughts?
I am most definitely going to pick up Slow Man now that you’ve mentioned it; see how omniscient POVs are effectively used. Thanks Alan.
I love the omniscient POV style, but whenever I think of omniscient POVs, I always think of the inclination to ‘tell instead of show’. The narrator is practically god. Why not just tell what they’re thinking and get on with the story. That’s probably why I’m such a Michael Critchton fan, by the way.
How much balance do you think there should be. When or where do you think is the most effective.
Tom
Hi Tom,
I just finished reading a wonderful book that has a third person omniscient POV that shifts frequently between two main characters as well as briefly to some secondary but crucial running members of the cast. “Independent People” by Halldor Laxness, may be the most famous book you’ve never heard of. First published in 1945, it’s now enjoying a rediscovery as a Vintage paperback. Laxness, who won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1955, wrote this epic novel about Iceland with a stunning range of depth, power, and humor. Don’t miss it.
Speaking of old masters, Tolstoy could tell a story from an omniscient point of view without losing the perspective of several characters in a huge canvas. “War and Peace” famously tells the epic history of Napoleon’s failed invasion into Russia from an omniscient perspective which nevertheless slips seamlessly into several character’s point of view.
A more modern example I read not long ago is “Slow Man” by another Nobel Prize winner (in 2003), the South African novelist J.M. Coetzee. This book is a virtuoso portrait of a 60 year old crippled man who falls in love with his nurse. Coetzee is able to concurrently and consecutively give us the point of view of his protagonist while also getting inside his other characters perspective, the key to successful third person narration.
This isn’t to say that only Nobelists can write successfully in third person! But the omniscient POV is a great way for any writer to paint a big canvas.
-Alan
Thank you so much Alan, this has been reassuring.
As I said earlier, several people have read the first two chapters with now difficulties or confusion in following the narrator. Probably because it’s written in about 85% dialog, so the majority of the information offered the reader comes directly from the cast of characters.
I do plan to call you soon to discuss some of your available services to determine which will benefit my book most, and am excited about the prospects there.
Thanks again for encouraging this first time novelist;
Dina
Alan, what do you think are the best examples of books written in the third person omniscient pov that you’ve recently read.
Thanks, Tom.
Hi Dina-
I can tell you as an acquiring editor with decades of experience doing mysteries of all sorts, that your critique partner’s statement is not true. It’s OK to write in an omniscient point of view, as you have, even with head hopping, if you do it well.
Deciding on your point of view is a very important artistic as well as practical decision. Do you want to take on a first persona and live inside your character? Do you want to get outside a character so you can see, tell or comment on a character’s perspective and behavior? Do you want to move around various points of view so you can offer the reader behind the scene clues and a chance to figure out what happened? It’s your call.
Good luck,
Alan
Hi Alan.
Thank you for this article (for the entire site, really). I’m writing a Thriller in which I’ve taken the omniscient POV and the subsequent head-hopping. Several people have read the first two chapters and say they follow along with no difficulty or confusion; and that my hook is good because they want more.
My problem now comes in that one man in my critique group mentioned I should change the POV to 3rd person limited because Editors will not purchase anything from a first-time author not written in that POV; and that once I have my first publication I can choose which ever POV I want. As soon as he stated that, others in the group began confirming.
I honestly can’t say whether I’ve even ever read any piece written in 3rd person limited, I tend to gravitate toward the omniscient POV books, because I like to know what’s going on with everyone. It’s more comfortable for me.
So I have two questions:
1. Is my critique partner’s statement true?
2. How does one decide at the on-set, which POV a story should be written in?
Thanks so much for your help; and again I am so thankful I found your site, thanks for taking the time to have it here for us.
Dina
Thanks for this post. Great advice.
I write middle-grade and there are “rules” floating around that children’s books should always be in the one POV. Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book switches POV a lot, and that won the Newbery Medal.
I’m currently writing a book whose protagonist isn’t the child, but the child in the story (children, actually) help the protagonist. I was thinking some scenes might be in the POV of the main child when the protagonist isn’t around. This post helps me be more confident with the switches, and I’ll remember you’re advice about balance.
Thanks
Great advice .
“We want … not be tricked into believing something that turns out not to be true.” BUT #3 Break some rules :..”Slick genre plots sometimes include a last reversal which turns everything on its head.”
For a totally unexpected and brilliant use of this, I can recommend reading Fingersmith by Sarah Waters. I had no idea it was coming and it was tremendous.
Hi Tim-
There’s no “rule” against breaking through the first person to address the reader on occasion as “you”, but I’d be careful about doing it too frequently in too many places. The criteria for right or wrong usage of this technique is whether it intrudes or confuses or annoys.
-Alan
A member of my critique group mentioned something about breaking thr fourth wall, which I think is a first-person POV that addresses the reader on ocassion. Is this a problem? Anyone know anything about the rights and wrongs?
Tim Sunderland, author
Rules for Giving, WIP
Finally advice on the subject of POV that makes sense! Thanks.
C. Patrick Schulze
Thank YOU, Alan, for the kind words. Nothing makes me happier than helping an aspiring writer learn the craft. And by helping Haleigh, I know I become a better writer because I reinforce to myself what is basic to good writing.
I’m book-marking your web site!
Again, thank you for taking the time to respond.
~Bonnie
Hi Bonnie-
That’s a wonderful homework assignment you’ve given this young writer. I applaud your ability and willingness to provide such good summer schooling for her. You’re part of a great tradition that I’ve appreciated first hand when visiting Alabama for writer’s conferences: a great literary culture and long-standing devotion to the hard work of quality writing.
-Alan
Hi Carolyn-
I think you’re right. If you can understand and get under the skin of your character, then your POV will be deep. Seems like a no brainer, so do stay away from stress and do it the natural way without having to follow rules or use jargon.
-Alan
As a fan of first person POV and now an editor with Red Rose Publishing, as a writer I’m getting a firsthand lesson how important consistency is with POVs. One of the biggest problems and pet peeves, I guess, I had with alternating POVs: the resolution factor. If a story were told from two different POVs in the same manner, i.e., first person voice for both, how would that ending work from two different “head” views, especially in the same book? And which “head” would get the final chapter? This is one of those “news starts traveling and takes on steam” aspects about writing that jarred me more than most, I suppose.
Kiki, this isn’t to say your WIP won’t work in this fashion. I’d follow Alan’s advice to the letter to make sure this is well-balanced to pull off. Even the most seasoned, experienced writers have trouble doing this, if they did do it at all. Trouble was, in times past, writers who did this–and the editors who got story-lazy in the cleanup process–let these reads out there that weren’t executed properly and a head-hopping mess. A wonderful critique group helps your revision process, too.
Love the article, Alan! Great stuff for my content editor colleagues at Red Rose, thank you.
Happy weekend, everyone!
~Missye
Carolyn,
I recently finished reading Characters & Viewpoint by Orson Scott Card, and I recall him referring to a “deep” or “deeper” third-person narrative. Perhaps that is where many people first heard of the concept.
I’m working with a talented fifteen-year old, a voracious reader who wants to be a novelist. She lives in a small Alabamatown, and her school has no creative writing class.
I devised a summer school for her. She is reading my manuscript, YOUR GIFT TO ME, one chapter per day,via e-mail. Then she e-mails me with questions about why I did something or what something means. This morning I wrote to her about not using cliches and POV.
Thank you for this article, which I found via Twitter. It’s a little over her head now, but she’s smart and will tuck it away to study as she grows as a writer.
So, on behalf of Haleigh Harrison and myself. Thank you!
Bonnie
Very helpful article! I’e written very little in the first person though I enjoy it. All my books so far have been third person. One thing I’ve heard talked about among writers is the concept of “deep POV” which I’ve never really been able to figure out myself, since I think if you’ve got the right POV for your scenes, the POV will be deep — as in deeply in the POV character’s head.
I’m curious about whether this is a concept you’ve heard much about. Mostly I don’t worry about it much, but sometimes I stress anyway.
Hi Beatriz-
Yes, submitting your short stories to contests is a good idea since you’ll get some objective feedback. It’s always better to let your work be read early in the creative process rather than polishing it only on your own. So by all means seek out professional free-lance editors, contest judges, and other outside evaluation.
-Alan
Hi Kiki-
I would be careful about not tipping the balance too heavily toward the girl’s first person and having the third person boy pop in only once in a while. Good balance is important with two points of view. Get some professional feedback if you want to know if it’s working or not.
-Alan
Thank you for the fantastic advice. I’m currently writing short memoir stories online, however, I will soon begin writing the “real” memoir. I was very undecided about continuing the first person narrative or switching to third person narrative. With this information, I have decided to stay with first person narrative.
Another editor loves my short stories, which are in first person. It’s probably a good idea to stay with the POV that is working.
Should I enter my short stories into contests? Does winning contests help the process of getting published? Or should I focus on improving my craft? I would love to know your opinion.
Thank you for this helpful post!
Thanks for the interesting article on POV. I have written several YA books in 3rd unlimited and I chose to write my current WIP, PULSE, in 1st, more to stretch myself than anything else. However, as the story unfolded I have two main characters, my primary protagonist (a girl) tells the story in 1st and every two or three chapters it alternates to the secondary MC, (a boy) who is in 3rd.
I have no idea if this is an acceptable pattern, but that’s the way it feels right to me. Any thoughts?
Thanks!
Thanks for posting about POV. I’ve been struggling with indecision, because, as you said, “The news starts traveling and takes on steam.” Sometimes it’s hard to discern the difference between good advice and bad advice.
The first draft of my novel, Courage in Patience, did have quite a bit of “head-hopping”– in fact, that was the main criticism of it and I suspect the main reason it wasn’t picked up sooner than it was. Now that I am seeking a new publisher for Courage in Patience, I am very grateful that my former editor guided me through reeling in the head-hopping and establishing a rule, so to speak, for using other points of view. My finished manuscript ended up being 200% better than the first version. Just my own experience.
Beth Fehlbaum, author
Courage in Patience, a story of HOPE..
http://courageinpatience.blogspot.com
Ch. 1 is online!